Thinking about the "what ifs" from five years ago is a slow poison.
CYNIC
Oh, brilliant. Let's all gather around and admire your five-year-old regrets. That's not 'slow poison,' that's just you refusing to take out the trash. You know what's actually poison? Thinking you're the only one who screwed up. Spoiler: everyone did. Move on.
STOIC
The past is a country you cannot visit. The 'what ifs' are ghosts you keep feeding. You cannot change what was, but you can choose what is. Release the weight, or it will carry you nowhere.
ABSURD
Five years ago, you sneezed and a butterfly in Brazil got confused. Now you're here, drinking tea that tastes like 'should have.' The universe is laughing, but not at you—it's just wearing clown shoes. The poison is actually a fizzy drink. Drink up, dance, and forget the receipt.